Tis the Season

 The San Miguel Guadalupe Christmas Experience: A True Story

***To get the most out of the San Miguel Guadalupe Christmas Experience, go to Youtube and play “Da Ya Think I’m Sexy” by Rod Stewart at a ridiculously loud volume. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hphwfq1wLJs). Then continue reading.

Twas two weeks before Christmas, when all thro’ the town,

not a person was sleeping, not even the dogs in the pound.

Large speakers were placed by my house with care,

in hopes that the Holy Mother Guadalupe would soon be there.

On the street, people were nestled all snug in their coats,

while visions of another Corona danc’d in their throats.

With my cat in his basket, and I in my bed,

we had just settled in after I book I just read.

When out on the street there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter.



Away to the window I flew like a flash,

tore open the curtains after a mad dash.

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,

but a life-sized drawing of Guadalupe and many cases of beer.

With a sound system, so lively and quick,

I knew in a moment I’d soon be listening to Mick.

More rapid than eagles the annoying sound came,

I whistled, and shouted, and call’d them bad names.

No, not Yuri, not Adele, please no Luis Miguel,

Oh! Come, on! Rod Stewart and now Juan Gabriel…Oh, Hell!

To the top of the porch! To the top of the wall!

The sound bounced all through my hall.

Meow! Cried the cat, wanting to sleep,

his loving mother about to weep.

So over to the phone a neighbor did fly,

with a press of a button, “Ecologia” Oh My!

The neighbor didn’t debate the party at hand,

but complained that Rod Stewart didn’t belong in Guadalupe Land.

The Virgen Is Not Sexy she screamed,

Who do I have to convince that this is mean…and highly inappropriate!

The higher powers finally agreed, to their team they gave a whistle,

and send them to Colonia San Antonio like the down of a thistle.

And then in a twinkling no sound,

only the yawing of my cat, all fluffy and round.

I heard them exclaim, as they drove out of sight-

Felicidades to all, and to all a good night.



A very tired kitty after a night at the San Antonio Guadalupe party.

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